Parenting is truly a complex subject. Unexpected small issues just crop up from nowhere. What is required from both of you is the element of compromise. If you feel you have the weapon of ‘divorce’ to discipline your spouse, you are greatly mistaken. Divorce can be used only in very exceptional cases and courts are very choosy in granting it. Remember divorce can never be a solution as much as compromise and one who is inclined to compromise and continue with him/her without thinking of divorce, stands greater chance of saving the marriage.
Try to respect and support the other person as you are in a relationship with your spouse. Gone are the days when you were stubborn with your brother or sister but now you have the additional responsibility of having to consider your spouse also.
There are certain rules you must follow to keep the marriage fresh and alive even after years. In case your spouse is not to agree with your view-point let him/her have his own way but when he/she returns home in the evening try to have an impassionate talk. Chances are more that you are the ultimate winner!
What is urgently needed is self-control. One who is in complete control of himself/ herself need not worry about petty issues. Over a period of time, you will know how to adjust and get along instead of becoming angry and think of divorce.
Now that we have donned the cap of a marriage, let’s get serious. Past are the days when you didn’t much care to worry about the next day; you had been on a roller-coaster like any young chap, a go-lucky sort.
You are not alone anymore. You are a better-half, the other half being your spouse. Soon there may be a couple of kids who will keep you engaged all the time.
True, you have to be mentally prepared for it or else it may throw you a helter-skelter. Some grown up parents decide to postpone the issue of parenting till such a time they feel comfortable. Obviously when both of you are working with your careers, promotions and salaries in mind you can never do justice to the toddlers.
A better thing, perhaps, is to take an extended sabbatical suitably after or before a promotion. This will help you space out the birth of kids according to your availability for parenting.
Don’t treat small issues ‘with kid gloves’. As much as the big issues they are also important in their own right. You have to draw some line between these two in order to smoothly run your family without frequent clashes and umpteen goof-ups. Such floppy functioning sends a wrong message to your kids who are known to learn or pick up anything fast at that age.
